Archive for September, 2009

The Role of Victim/Persecutor

September 28, 2009

Barbara Joye - The Shift Guru
Barbara Joye – The Shift Guru

The role of the victim/persecutor is a most interesting role and one that is played out nearly every day in every city or space in the United States in particular and most likely the world at large as it can produce such good feelings to overlay the less than good feelings of being a victim. The role of the Victim/Persecutor goes like this. They made me a victim and aren’t they mean! They made me do this so they are bad! They are the cause of all of my problems and they should be stopped! And on it goes.

The one truly consistent element of the Victim/Persecutor role is the ‘they’ elements, whoever they are. And our children learn it really early. For a child, it sounds like ‘they made me do it!’. And already, the child is learning that they, (the child in this case) are powerless and defenseless because they (the child) are a victim of an unknown source…..they! In reality, the Victim/Persecutor role feels like it takes away all responsibility for our lives. What it does instead, is it promotes us giving up all responsibility for our lives. And thus we have a society based on attorneys and doctors and other specialty fields who are responsible for us all – rather than us being responsible for ourselves.

The Victim/Persecutor role allows us to not be responsible and allows others to control and run our lives. Is that the trade you want to have in your life? Do you want to be a victim and point to someone else who made something happen in your life as you give away full power to the individual? I am thinking that life has a bit more to offer that I intend to manage. And, in my belief system, for me to manage my life I must take accountability for my life. And to take full accountability for my life I am giving up being the Victim/Persecutor.

And as grand a statement as that is, I do sometimes miss the position!!!!

Next week we will discuss how to make these shifts.

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Being A Victim – The Benefits

September 21, 2009

Barbara Joye - The Shift Guru
Barbara Joye – The Shift Guru

In our society, the benefits of being a victim are immense. The current society supports a victim without much question as to how it all came to be and the rightness of it. And for this reason, we have all become very adapt victims. Whether of the neighbor next door who “just does not understand all that I have going, so how can I take the time to mow my lawn”; to the police departments whom we tell everyone “Can you imagine, they stopped me for speeding, why not the guy that just passed me going much faster and being dangerous. I am a law abiding citizen!”; to the hospitals and medical profession who “just don’t care about anyone – they just don’t take the time they should” and at the same time we bemoan the cost.

And the victim mentality takes us into such petty, name calling modes that we can even see individuals booing at sports events because their teams are just not playing like they should be. I wonder if any of the fans (who all believe they deserve a winning team) truly think that the players (whose job depends upon their playing at the level the game demands) really want to loose their job? Do the fans even think about that? My expectation is that they do not…they simply want what they want and if they don’t get it they act out like booing.

So you can see, the benefits of being a victim are immense in our society. We support the victim, whether it is the fan who has been done wrong; the speeder who was not speeding the most; or the individual who did not get enough time with their doctor and then complains that they spent too much. It is all about Not Getting What We Want! And as victims, we deserve to get what we want. And society, at many levels supports the fact that we ‘should’!

Next week we will go into the role of the Victim/Persecutor.

Being A Victim

September 15, 2009

Barbara Joye - The Shift Guru

Barbara Joye - The Shift Guru

In our society, the victim plays many roles.  Some of those roles have a level of enjoyment while others leave one wondering why any individual would choose to be a victim.

And yes, I did say choose.  It is my perception that if we believe we are going to be victims, that someone is going to harm us in any way (and you who are reading this know who you are), then we have a much greater chance of being harmed.  If our talk is about staying safe and not letting anyone in and keeping away from those places where ‘those things” happen, we have a much greater chance of finding ourselves in a place where those type of things do happen and will happen to us!

I am not recommending in any way that we go through life being clueless about the situation around us.  Being aware of where we are and taking stock of our surroundings is valuable.  Being in continual fear that something might happen, however, is more likely to create the environment in which it does happen.

And, as you may have noticed in the world, there are people who are simply victims and those who do not play the role well.  Those who do are often (and always) talking about staying safe, about what might happen, and about why they don’t ‘live’ because it could happen.  And then, low and behold, it seems to happen to them.

And there are those individuals who go through life, aware of their environment, keeping in touch with the energies around them without being totally focused on what might happen badly.  And somehow, bad things seldom seem to happen to them.  And you know these people.

So, let’s start with the possibility that we each create our lives and that by thinking in fear and victim mentality, we may just be creating our role (or non-role) of victim.  Those who are choosing to be a victim (at the unconscious level) receive benefits as well as challenges.

We will go further into the benefits of being a victim next week. Visit us at

The Role of Victim

September 8, 2009

Barbara Joye - The Shift Guru

Barbara Joye - The Shift Guru

All of us, at one point or another, assume the role of victim in a situation.  We take on the mantle of ‘he/she who has been done wrong’ and live in the mantle for a few days, weeks years or decades.  Listen to someone who wears that mantle well and, if you are willing to listen past the first story or two, you will soon discover they are rehashing things that happened ‘to them’ years ago.
As we all play this role from time to time, let’s dissect the role to see what is so darn popular about it.  First, it is a role that is approved of in our society.  What that means to us is that we are given full rein to move into that role whenever and where ever we deem appropriate. 
Think about the individual who has been done wrong by their kitchen oven…oh, yeah, the oven intended to do them wrong.
Or the person who was deliberately cut off in traffic by that nasty person in the other car trying to get their before them…who thinks they are better…and who should be stopped by the police for being rude.  (I wonder, has that victim ever inadvertently cut someone else off?   I wonder if they remember those moments when they may well have made someone else a victim.  Not likely, generally it is only they who are the victim.)
Or the individual who has run up charge cards and wonders why the charge companies are asking them to repay after they lost their job.  After all, it’s not their fault that they lost their job.  (And for some, it may not be.  For others, you may want to look closely at why the job was lost – perhaps too much sick time?  Oh, I forgot, they were victims of their illness as well).
The long and short of it is that our current society applauds and supports the victim.  And that in this support of the victim, our society (yes that would be the society we all support) creates a society of victims. 
It is a vicious circle.  A victim or victims appear.  Society supports them (perhaps for good reason) and then more appear, more support with the final outcome being a society of victims. 
And I am not going to deal with the fact that sometimes life is hard, for sometimes it may appear to be hard, particularly during this time in our history.  However, I will put forth that being a victim during this ‘hard time’ is the least likely time to benefit from the victim position.
Next week we will talk about the benefit of being a victim.

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September 1, 2009

Barbara Joye - The Shift Guru

Barbara Joye - The Shift Guru

Beliefs are what run our lives.  They are  insidious and unknown for the most part.  We believe we know our beliefs when, in fact, we most likely are aware of only those on the surface.  Not the real beliefs running the show.  Whenever we think we know, we are only kidding ourselves.  Our Ego is trying to act like it is keeping us safe by telling us we know what our beliefs are.
And yet, we continually act and feel differently than what we tell ourselves we ‘should’ act and feel.  And, when we do this, we decide there is something wrong with us and there is something lacking in our lives.  And then, the most of us, look to our neighbors, people different from us, the economy or the government to fix what is really not broken.  It is simply mixed-up.  We are mixed-up…our beliefs are mixed-up…and it is much easier to blame someone else for what is happening and play the ‘oh so poorly treated victim’ than it is to begin to understand what our beliefs really are.

Isn’t it interesting that we think we are consciously in control or we think someone or something else is in control….when really it is our beliefs that are running our lives; when it is really those decisions we made (whether in this lifetime at an early age or another lifetime and we are carrying them over) about what we were going to consider truth in our lives.
How can this be?  How can we so easily and successfully and completely deceive ourselves?  What is it that we are not willing to consider or to allow to be a possibility?